Grounding anchors for when you need peace and calm

First off, if the meme this pic is based on was not printed and posted somewhere in your JOC, watchfloor, office, or even Chaplain's Corner of every deployment you ever went on, I would love to hear about it because it was ubiquitous in my experience 😅 Because the threat of dumpster fires is real and prevalent, I find it crucial to have grounding anchors I can tap into whenever I need them to help settle my nervous system and get my prefrontal cortex back online. These grounding anchors- aka inner resources- are images, sounds, or sensations we can tap into to bring us into the present in a neutral or pleasant way. Basically, calling to mind (and the felt experience) a grounding anchor is an excellent self-regulation skill to have handy! Here are some of my fave anchors:

Sounds

As I type this, I can hear the night bugs chirping through my open window (yay for night temps in the 60s here in subtropical FL), my dog sleep-breathing on the couch next to me, my fridge humming, and the pleasant clicks of the keyboard. Nice and neutral - except my dog because he is the cutest and thus I feel warm and fuzzy hearing him. And he just sighed - he is the MOST dramatic sigher.

One of my favorite places to teach yoga on deployment was in a "dojo" room with rolling/wrestling mats on the floor - super easy for setup (quick swiffer) and people could plop down if they didn't have a mat. The downside? The leg press was up against one of the metal walls. Nothing says "bliss out in savasana" like the wha-WHAM of a leg press! But I quickly realized that was great - sounds are just sounds, and invited my yogis to just note them too.

You can try this by pausing for a few seconds and noting three sounds: one close, one far, one somewhere in between. I just learned that little protocol from my fellow yoga therapy student Matt in Zoom training today. Fun! You can also just try opening your ears to whatever they pick up. I do like the three-sound practice it was fun. Mine were fridge (close) AC unit of another condo (far) and dog snoring on couch (in between).

Sounds bring us to the present - and can even be hypnotic or soothing- like nice ambient/white noise from a fan or the night bugs chirping. Scanning for them activates that salience network of our brain responsible for helping us filter out the important data from our environment, while helping to shut down the default mode network responsible for worrying and rumination at the same time!

An easy-to-love being

This can be your pet, your best pal, your child, maybe even your partner! The important factor is a person or critter that you can think of and immediately feel warm and fuzzy. Sometimes (a lot of the times) that may not necessarily mean our partner or a family member, and that's fine! When I was first learning this, my house was squirrel headquarters - squirrels every where! And they were so darn delightful and cute, I brought those cheeky squirrels to mind. Play around with this one!

Flip through your mental rolodex and note whenever a smile spontaneously forms, or a warmth spreads in your chest, or you feel like you can settle in and yawn. Those are the people or critters that are easy to love! Bonus: make a little album in your phone to help jog your memory when you need it and take a peep before you practice.

A pleasant object in your environment

This one is super easy - anything that you can see that brings you a sense of comfort, ease, joy, safety, contentment, love, or even awe. "Pleasant" is the general bucket we are going for. This can be a cozy blanket or chair, a plant, your pet, a picture of your pet, a picture of your family, a lovely piece of art, the view out of a window, your super beat up but cute coffee mug. Gaze at it and let that sense come over you: a feeling of coziness, or joy, or relaxation.

This one is especially helpful if you don't feel comfortable closing your eyes when you meditate, which is one hundred percent NEVER a hard requirement. In my year-long Buddhist immersion course I did last year, we learned that there actually aren't any images or statues of the Buddha or instructions from the Buddha saying your eyes have to be closed. The eyes/gaze is down the line of the nose. Too easy!

Orienting to the environment- your current environment - is what grounding is all about- keeping you here in the present moment, feeling safe enough. So this one can be very supportive if you are feeling overwhelmed in any way - your body or your mind - to bring you to the here and now and quiet the inner storms.

Be forewarned: you might enjoy this practice so much you start buying up tiny cute animals you can tuck in your pocket and bring to work with you on tough days, or when you travel to put on your nightstand. You will love it, but you might also buy some extra stuff at the estate sales where you find your tiny animals. Your favorite might be a tiny pewter inch-long fox.🦊

Why these anchors are important for your mindfulness practice

A couple great reasons here why it is super helpful to discover and practice your grounding anchors to support your mindfulness practice. First, a lot (the majority) of mindfulness meditation techniques provide focus anchors on the breath, or the body, or phrases. It is super common for people to not feel comfortable using one or all of those anchors most of the time. I do not find them accessible all of the time. I had two gnarly upper respiratory infections last year, no way was I focusing on the breath. Recently had a short bout with a low-grade flu. Not focusing on the body during that, thank you! And phrases- sometimes I am too worked up to get my CURRENT thoughts straight to meditate, let alone meditate on a NEW one! So having these alternatives is great so I can still practice...or even do a little warm-up and then go into something else.

Pendulation is another reason. When I am up for the deeper contemplative practices, and something a little big or unsettling pops up, I can tap into my grounding anchor for a few breaths, come back to the big thing, and swing back and forth as needed. This is called pendulation and is a critical skill to have to be able to do the deep work of processing trauma in the body. Pendulation is also critical in building up our resilience - what we are able to be with and for how long. It's a bit of a trope but true in my experience- you gotta feel it to heal it. It feels so much better after, but I have to be able to sit in that temporary discomfort of letting whatever it is move through me on its way out.

Third is variety- yes it is great if you can just focus on the breath, but variety can help keep you motivated to keep showing up to your couch, chair, or cushion- wherever you practice your mindfulness meditation. Our brains crave novelty, so it can even feel more motivating to try out a new practice or go back to one that has been on the shelf for a while.

This week's video practice is finding your grounding anchor

What a coincidence! In the video I share this week, I guide you through experimenting with all three of the above grounding mindful anchors. Do give it a shot and let me know how it goes for you. We all need all the help we can get settling our nervous systems and minds for a few minutes here and there so we can get back to the real hard work of making sense of all the dumpster fires in the world and how we can contribute to putting them out 🔥💧

Oh and I posted a short of the sunrise from this morning - Theo (my dog) got me out the door for his walk just in time to catch the sunrise, and the exact moment when the pink-orange sun peeked above the horizon 😭🌅 I promise I got my phone positioned just right and then was watching it with my actual eyeballs!

In deepest gratitude,

💕Carly

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